The Reunion
by MirethGuilbain
Summary: Five years after graduating high school brings a reluctant Veronica back to Neputune. LoVe.
1. Chapter 1

_Note: Contains spoilers up until 221 "Happy Go Lucky". I haven't seen the season 2 finale yet, so this is based on what I already know._

_This is my first fanfic of any kind, so feedback is much appreciated. If some of the characters seem a bit OOC, it's because this takes place 5 years in the future, and people have been known to change._

Veronica stopped at her mailbox on her way up to her apartment. She didn't start looking at any of it until she was already in the elevator. Bills, bills, junk mail, a large flat envelope that promised to contain those photos she was waiting for, and a small white envelope that looked like an invitation. Puzzled, she looked at the return address. Neptune High? Who could possibly be inviting her to something at Neptune High?

Since graduation, she had only returned to Neptune a handful of times. Stanford may not have been all that far away, but Veronica had always found a handy excuse for not coming back during long weekends and vacations. Sure, she missed her father, but they talked almost every day anyway. Thanks to Kane technology and the world of webcams, they even got to "see" each other. And of course she missed Wallace, but their friendship hadn't suffered from the long distance. It was easy to keep in touch, especially after their parents worked everything out and got hitched during junior year. She still got a kick out of calling Wallace "little brother", even if there was really no age difference between them.

The wedding had been the last time she'd stepped foot in Neptune. That was two years ago. Every Thanksgiving and Christmas, she came up with a new excuse not to go home, but she knew her family saw through them. At least Alicia knew that it had nothing to do with the marriage. It was just that going back to Neptune hurt too damn much. Everything from high school came flooding back the minute her foot touched Neptune soil…Lilly, Duncan, Meg…Logan. A bloody body beside a swimming pool. A school bus exploding and driving off a cliff. Limousines and homecoming dresses. A bright yellow XTerra. Some of those memories made her smile. Others made her heart bleed. Wasn't she allowed to put it behind her?

Ironically, it was because of the Kanes that she was able to heal herself as much as she had. Or rather, because of their money. The Kane Scholarship very nearly saved her life. Stanford gave her a chance to start over. No one knew her there- not the Veronica she'd been before Lilly's murder, or the Veronica she'd had to become afterwards. She made friends that knew nothing of the ghosts that haunted her, nothing but what she chose to share. Not that she shared very much. Where could she start? It would have sounded like some kind of TV show- murder, lost love, kidnapped babies, corrupt politicians, inept law enforcement, espionage. Who would believe it? So she left it behind her in Neptune, as much as she could. The only problem was that she seemed to pick it up again as soon as she returned to Neptune. So she chose not to return very often. Cowardly? Maybe. But who could blame her?

Now, as she stood in the elevator, staring at the little white envelope, it felt as though the evil demons in Neptune had reached out their tentacles and wrapped them around her. In a daze born half out of curiosity and half out of shock, she got off the elevator and let herself into her apartment. A pit-bull puppy scrambled off the sofa and started jumping at her excitedly. "Chill, Tag," she murmured absentmindedly, as she dumped her bag on the coffee table and sank down onto the sofa. She looked at the Neptune High envelope for a few more moments, before she flipped it over and ripped it open.

_Can you believe it's already been five years! This Thanksgiving weekend, when you've had your fill of turkey and family, come to the Neptune High Five Year Reunion and find out what everyone has been doing since graduation!_

Veronica skimmed over the date and time info, pausing briefly on the names listed under Reunion Committee. Typical. Madison Sinclair and Shelly Pomroy. She was only surprised that they hadn't "forgotten" to send out invites to non-09ers. Still looking at the paper in her hand, she flipped open her cell phone and pressed #2 on her speed dial.

"What's up, girl? Didn't expect to hear from you this early in the day."

"Hey there, little brother. Hope I didn't…interrupt…anything."

"Nah…I kicked out the Swedish volleyball team as soon as I was done with them."

"That's my boy. Love 'em and leave 'em Fennel. So, listen, I gotta ask you something."

"Really? I'm shocked. Give me a moment to start breathing again."

"No, I'm not asking a favor. I was just wondering if you'd gotten anything in the mail from Neptune High."

"No…but I haven't been by the old folks in a few days. It might have been sent to my mom instead of to my place. Why? What'd you get?"

"An invitation. Five year reunion during Thanksgiving weekend. I didn't even know there was such a thing as a five year reunion. I though I was off the hook for at least ten."

"So what's the big deal? You don't have to go. I though you weren't coming home for Thanksgiving anyway."

"Yeah, I know. I wasn't going to. Then Dad and Alicia reminded me that I haven't been home for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Father's Day, Mother's Day, or any of the birthdays since they got married. I can handle guilt from one of them. But when they gang up like that…"

"Yeah, I know. Try living here in Neptune with them. They have me home every Sunday."

"And now you know why I live in Chicago."

"And here I thought it was because of the wonderful winter weather."

"Yeah, yeah. Keep it comin', buddy. Seriously though…this reunion…"

"So don't go! Hang out with Mom, Keith and Darrell. Take Backup on the beach. Enjoy 70 degree weather in November."

"You're right. Why am I getting so worked up about this?"

There was the briefest of pauses before Wallace answered. "No reason. Guess you're just crazy."

"Guess so. Anyway, I have a paper to write. Catch ya later."

"Later."

She closed the phone, and put the invite on the coffee table. 'Get a grip, Veronica,' she told herself. 'You don't have to set foot in that place ever again. High school is over.' She turned on her laptop and opened up the paper she was writing on the juvenile detention system in America. No matter how hard she tried, though, Neptune was tickling the back of her mind. Those demons just wouldn't unwrap their tentacles.


	2. Chapter 2

_She raced along the water's edge. She didn't know how long she'd been running, but she couldn't make herself stop._

'_Stop it, dorkus! You know I hate exercise. This is _not _my favorite reason to sweat,' Lilly complained, running beside her._

'_I can't. I can't stop,' Veronica gasped between paces._

_Lilly grabbed her arm, forcing her to halt. 'Running this far hasn't done anything. When are you going to see how stupid you're being?'_

_Veronica strained against Lilly's hold on her arm. 'I have to go. Why are you trying to make me stop? You, of all people, should know why I have to keep going.'_

'_Of course I know. I know everything. Like the fact that you're being a moron. Just trust me, V. Do you even know what you're running from? I don't think you do.'_

'_What are you talking about! I know _exactly _what I'm running from. And I can't go back. There's no going back.'_

_She wrenched her arm from Lilly's hand and took off again. Behind her, Lilly stood for a moment, shaking her head, before vanishing. Down the beach, the sound of a motor could be heard. A bright yellow XTerra came into view._

Veronica woke up with a start. This was the fifth time in two weeks that she'd dreamt of Neptune. Sometimes it was Lilly who spoke to her. Sometimes it was Duncan. Sometimes Meg showed up. They all told her the same thing: Stop running. And it always ended with that damn XTerra roaring to life behind her. The closer she got to Thanksgiving, the more frequent and more vivid the dreams were becoming. And it was starting to piss her off.

She was going back for the week, wasn't she? Finishing her midterms and taking a couple of extra days so that she'd have more time to spend with her family, like a good daughter. She'd made plans to see Mac. Why were they all accusing her of running? She was making a life for herself. Wasn't she entitled to move on? Didn't she, of all people, have a right to start over? And what the hell did Logan's car have to do with anything? They hadn't spoken since graduation. 'Epic love, my ass,' she thought. Fine, so she made a point of not thinking or speaking about him. And maybe part of her was still a little bitter about how everything went down. But given the way they'd started, who could be surprised at how it ended? She wasn't running away from Logan. If anything, he'd done all the running.

Frustrated that she was thinking about him, and that it still pissed her off, she threw back the covers with energy and got out of bed, eliciting a whimper from the ball of fur at the foot of her bed.

"Come one, Tag," she said, as she threw on a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt. The puppy didn't move. "Tagteam! Time to go out! Time for a walk!" At the word 'walk', the puppy bounded off the bed, and raced to the door, tail wagging. She clipped on his leash, and they went out into the cold November air. Damn, she should be used to winter by now. A whole year in Chicago, and she still forgot to take a coat with her sometimes.

When they got back inside, she looked at the clock and realized that she was going to be late to work. Getting the internship with the Chicago Police Department had been hard enough. She couldn't blow it by being late. How many criminal psychology grad students actually got to work on real cases? Besides, she loved her job, and not just because it helped pay her rent. The grisly side didn't bother her. Sure, it always touched a nerve deep down. She'd experienced enough to empathize with the victims and their families. But it was easier to remain detached when they were strangers. She never got over the thrill of helping to bring the bad guy to justice.

She picked up a cup of coffee on her way, and made it to work 1 minute late. Close enough. She got lucky this morning- traffic on Lake Shore Drive had been light and the bus got there on time. You just never knew with the CTA. She made her way to the small, cluttered desk shoved into a corner that was designated as hers for the duration of her internship. A few of the officers greeted her. Being welcome in a police station was a pleasant change for her. It felt more like what she'd known during her father's reign as Sheriff than what she'd endured during Lamb's. She didn't know the current Sheriff in Neptune. He'd replaced Lamb a few years back. Carter, Connor…something like that. It didn't matter. He didn't know her. He had no reason to.

Damn it! That's the second time today she'd thought of Neptune, and it was only 9:00am. Damn that stupid invitation. Damn Thanksgiving. Just plain damn. And above all, damn Neptune. Unlocking her files, she opened the current case and turned her mind away from old demons and on to current ones. There was a carjacking rapist-killer in the Lakeview/Wrigleyville area. He'd already gotten four girls in the past 2 months. She was working with the police and the psychologist on retainer towards creating a profile, in the hopes that it would help nab him before he nabbed his next girl. She hadn't told her father much about this current case. He'd only worry, especially if she mentioned that the last girl had been taken only two blocks from her apartment. Then again, she lived in the hip, 20-something part of town, and that's exactly what the rapist went for. Hip 20-somethings. Not that he social life was all that hip lately. Midterms had a way of killing social butterflies. Which reminded her…she was supposed to go out for drinks tonight with Sasha, to celebrate the end of midterms and the beginning of Thanksgiving break. She sent Sasha a brief text message, confirming their plans, and then shut down all thoughts about the outside world. There was a killer on the loose.

Veronica showed the bouncer her ID, and walked inside the bar. She'd used her real ID this time. Sometimes she got a kick out of using one of her old fakes, even though she was 23 now. After all, she'd done good work on them back in the day. It'd be a shame to waste them.

She was glad Sasha picked a more lounge-type venue this time, instead of a loud club. She was tired, and just wasn't up to dancing and screaming to be heard. All she wanted was a drink or two, and some chill time with her gal pal. She spotted Sasha sitting in a corner booth, flirting with the waiter. He was cute, in that overly trendy, spiked bangs and beaded necklace kind of way. Sasha went for trendy guys. Then again, Sasha just went for guys. They were an odd pair, but somehow they worked. Sasha got Veronica out of her apartment and into the real world. Veronica kept Sasha closer to the planet Earth. Sasha spotted Veronica and waved. Veronica waved back, to show that she saw her, and managed to squeeze past a throng of guys to the booth. She slid in, exchanged air kisses, and looked up at the waiter.

"What kind of bourbon do you have?" she asked.

"Ummmm….Jim Beam, Jack Daniels and Maker's Mark. I think," he answered, looking slightly surprised. Veronica guessed that not too many girls ordered bourbon.

"Maker's, please. On the rocks."

"You're so hard-core, V," Sasha teased. She always liked to make fun of Veronica for her choice of drinks. "I'll take an apple martini, please. With an extra cherry."

The waiter flashed her a smile, and left to go get their drinks.

"You know, I'm tempted to say something about that extra cherry, but somehow I'll restrain myself," Veronica remarked. Sasha grinned.

"You and your self-control. I just don't know how you do it."

"Years of practice, my young Padawan apprentice. Then a Jedi master you too can be."

Sasha laughed, and mimed swinging a light saber.

"I don't think the Force is all that strong in me, V. But let's talk about something more interesting."

"Ok, what's his name?"

"Who?"

"The phrase 'something more interesting' only means one thing in your world. So what's his name?"

"This may come as a surprise to you, Ms. All-Work-And-No-Play, but there is no guy this time. I'm still seeing Mark, and it's still going well, and I have nothing new to report since we talked about him yesterday."

Veronica gasped. "Then what will we talk about?"

Sasha grinned mischievously. "I was thinking that we'd talk about…you."

"Me? Honey, you're cute, but you have no chance with me."

"Seriously, V. What's up with you?"

"Nothing. Been busy, that's all. Work, school. Same as you."

"Not buying it, baby. You're always busy with work and school. You're not always preoccupied and broody. So, I repeat myself. What's up?"

"Me, broody? I have a strict No Brooding policy. Violators are punishable by a heavy fine and thorough lashing. You're confusing me with your other brilliantly witty and vivacious blonde friend."

Sasha just looked at her, not saying a word. Trendy the Waiter came with their drinks, and she didn't so much as wink at him. She just picked up her drink and took a sip, all the while still looking at Veronica.

Veronica sighed. She should have known that she wouldn't get past Sasha so easily. It's part of why they were friends. Despite their many differences, Sasha was just as tenacious. Or stubborn, depending on how you looked at it.

"Look, it's nothing. I'm just not looking forward to going home, that's all."

"You're not looking forward to seeing your father? Or Wallace? Or Alicia and Darrell? Try again, V. I know how much you love your family, because you talk about them all the time."

"I didn't say I wasn't looking forward to seeing my family. I said I wasn't looking forward to going home. I just don't like Neptune."

Sasha looked down at her drink for a minute. She was debating whether or not to say something, and then made up her mind.

"Do you remember the night that Daniel dumped me?"

"Sure. Which reminds me…I promised Jose Cuervo a rematch. This time, I'm kickin' _his _ass."

"Right…do you remember what we talked about?"

"Ummmm….the memories are fuzzy around the edges, but I remember it having something to do with men being evil spawns of Satan and the women who love them."

"Bingo. I talked about Daniel. And Jim. And Ben. And you talked about Duncan and how you got over him. And I asked you how you could forgive so easily. Do you remember what you said?"

"Nope. I have no recollection of that part of the conversation. Nor do I remember forgiving Duncan easily."

"But that is what you said. You said, 'Forgiving Duncan wasn't easy. But forgiving Logan is impossible.' It was the first and only time you've ever mentioned anyone named Logan."

Veronica squirmed on the inside, and hoped it didn't show. She must have really been blitzed to mention Logan. Looking Sasha in the eye, she asked, "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't play dumb, V. You may be blonde, but the blonde act just doesn't suit you."

"Look, Sash. I really don't have anything to say about Logan. It's old history. In the past. It stays there."

"I'm not trying to force you to talk about it. I'm just asking if that old history is what freaks you out about going back. You forgave Duncan. You came to terms with losing Lilly. You let go of all that crap from high school, or so you said. But you hate going back. And that tells me that you haven't let go of all of it."

"And here I thought that psychology was my gig. You want me to be honest? Fine. There was a boy named Logan and a girl named Veronica. They had a history. But it's old news. We haven't even spoken since high school. So I don't see how he's a part of my life now. It's not Logan. It's just that going back to Neptune brings back all of those old memories of Lilly's death and my mom leaving and all of that crap. It's hard for me to leave it behind me when I'm there. That's all. Honest."

Sasha looked at her for a minute.

"If you say so, V. Now…did I tell you what Mark said on the phone last night before we went to bed?"


	3. Chapter 3

Veronica slammed shut the case file that she'd brought with her on the plane. That conversation with Sasha as replaying in her head. It'd been obvious that Sasha hadn't believed a word she'd said, but only changed the subject because it was clear that Veronica didn't want to talk about it. And it was equally obvious that the ghosts in her dreams sided with Sasha.

"Are you ready to start listening now?" Lilly asked, sitting in the seat next to her on the plane. Veronica glanced at her, half smiling.

"I guess I have to say yes. There are still two hours on this flight, and somehow I don't think you're going to let me sleep. Or, I should say, you won't stay out of my dreams. So it looks like you caught me."

"You betcha. Now, I'll be the psychologist and you can be Veronica. Been having strange dreams lately?"

"Bitch," Veronica laughed.

"Always. Come on, Veronica. You're landing in Neptune in two hours. You have to start being honest with yourself now, because it's just going to come back and bite you in the ass if you don't."

"Well, I'm definitely feeling some kind of pain in my ass at the moment."

"No more running, Veronica Mars. We both know what you've been dodging. Time for you to deal with it."

"How? How am I supposed to deal with it Lilly? It was five years ago. I've dealt with it the only way I could. I buried it and left it for dead. Why are you trying to make me dig it up?"

"Because I love you. And I loved him. And so did you."

"It wasn't enough. The Beatles lied. You need more than love."

"Are you at least admitting that you love him?"

"Past tense, Lil. I loved him, sure. But that was five years ago. Dead and buried."

"Wake up, Veronica."

"What are you trying to say?"

"You know exactly what I'm saying. That, and the plane is landing. So, really, wake up. You're back."

Veronica opened her eyes. The middle seat was still empty. Lilly was gone. A moment later, she felt the wheels touch down. Sure enough, she was back in California. And soon she'd be back in Neptune. Something was telling her that this week was not going to be easy. "Alright, Lil. You want me to face the past? My eyes are open. Bring it on."

As soon as she cleared the security area, Veronica saw her father holding up a fake "Wanted" sign with her picture on it, grinning from ear to ear. She walked as fast as she could with her suitcase, straight into her father's arms. She couldn't help grinning as she hugged him with all her strength.

"Who's your daddy?" she heard him say. She laughed.

"You are, dad. Now, what exactly is it that I'm wanted for, Sheriff?"

"Breaking an old man's heart and then fleeing the jurisdiction."

"You, old? Never. You'll be like Sean Connery. Even when you're all grey, women will still think you're a hottie."

"Please make a point of telling Alicia that. Within my hearing."

"Only if you give me an extra helping of dessert."

"Deal. Now let's go home, kiddo. I have my special lasagna waiting for you."

The conversation flowed easily during the car ride. It kept Veronica from looking out the window at the familiar landmarks of Neptune. She just focused on her father as they talked shop. He filled her in on the latest Mars Investigations news, and she discussed some of the cases she'd helped with in Chicago. She knew her father was proud that she'd channeled her Nancy Drew tendencies into something respectable like criminal psychology. And that he worried less knowing that she had friends in the CPD. The ride went by quickly, and soon they were pulling up in front of Alicia's house. Keith had moved in after the wedding. They'd discussed getting a new house, but then decided it would be easiest on Darrell if he didn't have to get used to a new house and a new dad at the same time.

"You'll be sleeping in Wallace's old room, honey. We made it a guest bedroom after he got his own place."

"I thought I'd be crashing at Wallace's. You know, have a slumber party, braid each other's hair…"

"Does Wallace know this?"

"Does he have a choice?"

"Take it up with him. I'm staying out of your sibling squabbles."

Veronica grinned, and got out of the car, as Keith took her bag out of the trunk.

"Hey, Mars!" a voice shouted from the porch. "Who said you could show your stupid-ass face in this town?"

Veronica looked up at Wallace. "Yo' mama did."

He laughed, and she ran up the stairs and skidded into him. She punched him lightly in the stomach, and then gave him a hug. He hugged back, before he pulled her into a headlock and playfully started giving her a noogie. She shrieked, and used her left leg to sweep his foot out from under him. They tumbled to the ground, looked at each other and started laughing.

"Are you supposed to be adults now?" Keith asked, as he came up the stairs.

"We have years of sibling rivalry to make up for, Dad. We're still working on the grade school years." Keith snorted as he went inside.

"Hey, you want a snickerdoodle?" Wallace asked as he untangled himself. He held out a hand to Veronica. She gave him a suspicious look as he helped her up.

"You? You made me snickerdoodles?"

"Nah, my mom did. But I told her that I'd take all the credit."

Veronica chuckled as they went inside. After the initial round of hugs for Alicia and Darrell, she settled herself at the kitchen table with a plate of snickerdoodles and a glass of milk. Wallace sat across from her.

"Spill it, Fennel."

"What?"

"You have something to tell me. I know your mom didn't make these cookies just because I was coming home. They were your idea. So what's with the bribe?"

"You couldn't just go with it, could you? Five minutes and you're already playing Sherlock Holmes."

"You're stalling."

"Ever think that maybe I have a reason?"

"Wallace!"

"Ok…but do you promise not to tape me to a flagpole?"

"Yes. I promise. Now spill."

"Logan Echolls is coming over for Thanksgiving."

The world stopped. For a moment, all Veronica could see were the words coming out of Wallace's mouth and hanging over their heads, like in a comic strip. She dropped the cookie without being aware of it.

"Excuse me? I know I didn't hear that right."

"Logan is coming for Thanksgiving."

"Logan. Echolls. Here."

"Ummm….yeah. Pretty much."

"How? Why? WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!"

She hadn't meant to scream at him. But it was just too much. Those dreams, Sasha's conversation, now this.

"I think I just felt something bite me in the ass," she muttered. Wallace looked puzzled.

"It was my mom's idea. She felt bad for him, you know? He doesn't have anyone to spend it with."

"And something in you said, 'Yeah, Mom! That's a great idea!'!"

"I thought you were staying in Chicago. And I couldn't un-invite him, could I?"

"I'm still not understanding why you were speaking to him in the first place."

"Veronica. You know he and I have kept in touch."

She knew. Sure, some of the information she got on Logan's life came from the media. Every October, some network or other ran a made-for-TV movie on the Kane murder or the Echolls family drama, and Logan's name always came up. But the rest of her info came from Wallace. She'd just chosen to ignore the fact that he was getting it first hand.

"I don't understand how you're friends with him. You have nothing in common."

Wallace opened his mouth and then shut it. Of course he and Logan had something in common. She just didn't want to hear it.

"Can we get past that for a minute? I don't want you to be pissed. Or go back to Chicago."

She sighed. Getting on a plane had been the first thought to cross her mind. "Look, I said I'd be home for the week. I'm not going back early. But don't expect me to be nice to him. Or even to talk to him. If I have to communicate, it will be in grunts and you'll have to translate."

Wallace nodded. He was watching her, waiting for the inevitable question. He didn't have to wait long.

"Does he know that I'm here?"

"Yeah, he knows."

Veronica tried to assimilate that information. It just didn't fit.

"Then why is he still coming?"

Wallace didn't answer. He just picked up a snickerdoodle and took a bite. She was a smart girl. She'd figure it out on her own.


	4. Chapter 4

Veronica ran along the beach with Backup and Tagteam. She just couldn't leave the puppy in Chicago for the week, and couldn't bear the thought of boarding a puppy. Besides, she thought he and Backup would have fun playing. The innocent pleasure of playing with the dogs only lasted for so long, though. Wallace's "news" kept coming back to her.

It was so surreal that she didn't know how to deal with it. Five year with no contact, and now he was coming for dinner? He knew she'd be there, and still didn't back out of the invitation? It just didn't make sense. If he'd wanted to get in touch with her, he would have. He'd been back in America for two years. And if he'd kept in touch with Wallace, he'd have an easy way of getting her email or phone number. So the only conclusion is that he hadn't wanted to get in touch. Which suited her just fine. She had nothing to say to him anyway. Enough had been said on graduation day.

She sat down on a rock, watching the dogs play with a ball. She never let herself think about that last conversation. Now it was clear that she'd have to. If she was going to be sitting across from Logan Echolls in under 24 hours, she'd have to remind herself. It didn't take much effort to recall that day.

_Everyone was milling about in their caps and gowns. Veronica had already hugged her father and was looking for Wallace. She'd lost him in the crowd. When she finally spotted him, he was standing in a knot of basketball players. She could wait. She turned around, and ran right into someone. A pair of hands steadied her, and she looked up into Logan's eyes. The half-formed apology died on her lips._

_They'd barely spoken since his father's acquittal. There was so much to say and no way to start. She suddenly realized that they'd been standing there staring at each other, and she flushed slightly._

"_Congratulations," she managed to say. He blinked at her, as though he, too, had just realized that he'd been staring._

"_Yeah, you too." Neither one could think of anything to say, but neither could just walk away. It was always their problem. An awkward silence started to settle, and then they both spoke at the same time._

"_Look, Logan…"_

"_Veronica…"_

"_Go ahead."_

"_No, you go. _

"_Really, it's ok. What were you going to say?"_

"_I'm leaving." The words just tumbled from his lips._

_Veronica was puzzled._

"_The after party is starting already? I thought you'd give everyone at least a full half hour to high five each other."_

_A ghost of his usual half-smile turned up a corner of his mouth._

"_I meant that I'm leaving Neptune. Tomorrow."_

"_School's out for summer, huh? Blonde barmaids in Berlin, chic leggy brunettes in Paris…you better eat your Wheaties, 'cause you'll need to keep up your energy."_

_He didn't take the bait, which surprised her. He just looked at her, and then replied, "This isn't vacation, Veronica. I'm not coming back." _

"_What?" It wasn't the most clever of replies, but she was completely thrown. Whatever she'd been expecting him to say- and she'd learned long ago not to have expectations where Logan Echolls was concerned- this certainly was not it._

"_You need me to spell it out?"_

"_I already won the Spelling Bee. I think I can manage." His obvious frustration was rubbing off on her. Everything she'd wanted to say to him was suddenly pointless. The words just dried up in her mouth, just as the hope dried up in her heart._

"_That's all I get? Sarcasm?"_

"_What am I supposed to say, Logan? Have a great trip?"_

"_What am I supposed to do? Move back in with Daddy Dearest? Live at the Neptune Grand?"_

_She looked up at him, her eyes glistening. "Spanning years and continents, huh?"_

"_What?"_

_She shook her head. "Right…I was the only one there for that conversation. Too bad I have to be here for this one."_

"_You don't. You've been great at avoiding conversations with me."_

"_You don't get to be angry with me right now. I have the monopoly on angry. You don't talk to me for weeks, and then the first thing out of your mouth is 'Have a nice life, Veronica' and you're getting angry with me?"_

"_What about you? You come knocking on my door, talking about epic relationships, run off without letting me say a word, and then avoid me. I think I'm entitled to be just a little bit bothered by that. Then again, I should be used that from you by now."_

"_Because you tried oh-so-hard to talk to me? I don't remember you calling. I don't remember you dropping by. But I do remember Kendall's hands running all over you. Seems like you made it pretty clear how you wanted to spend your time."_

_Logan laughed, but the sound was bitter. "Now I get it. You're jealous, and you've been sulking."_

"_Isn't there a bottle somewhere for you to drown yourself in?"_

"_Tsk, tsk…resorting to insult and innuendo. Can't handle the truth, Veronica?"_

"_You wouldn't know the truth if it was giving you lap dance."_

"_You offering? Because I'd like to see that."_

"_Speaking of innuendos… this conversation is over."_

"_A conversation? Is that what this was? I thought it was another 'Blame Logan For Everything' session."_

"_You want the truth, Logan? I don't blame you for everything. I only blame you for one thing."_

"_Ooooh, tell me, tell me, tell me! I'm dying to hear it."_

"_Good, 'cause I've been dying to say it. You're a coward, Logan Echolls. The minute something gets difficult, you cut and run or you hide behind your Bad Boy routine. That's the only thing I blame you for."_

"_Paging Dr. Kettle. You have a phone call from Ms. Teapot… You're the Ginger Rogers of the avoidance waltz. Slap on a thick layer of sarcasm and retreat into the World of Veronica."_

"_I'm not the one leaving, Logan."_

"_You left a long time ago, Veronica. You died the same day that Lilly did."_

_She opened her mouth, and then closed it again. Everything she had wanted to say to him turned to dust on her tongue. She gave him a long, hard look, and then turned and walked away. There was no point in saying any of it now. So much for epic love. Too bad she'd actually believed in it._

Feeling a warm, wet tongue on her ankle brought her out of her reverie. Tagteam had flopped down at her feet. Backup sat next to him. She scootched off the rock and sat on the sand next to them, petting one with each hand.

_You died the same day that Lilly did. _

It hurt all over again. The anger, the frustration, the sheer shock and pain. But worst of all was the conviction that it could have ended differently. If she had spoken first, would it have made a difference? If she'd kept her cool, would he have said something else? If she had tried harder to talk to him after the trial, would he still have decided to leave?

They hadn't exchanged a word since that day. He left the next day for a tour of Europe, and then started school in London. Three years later, he got a business degree and came back to America. Last she'd heard, he was living in New York. He'd never come back to California, as far as she knew. He probably had his own demons. So why was he back now? And what was she supposed to say to him?

With the memories swirling through her head, Veronica covered her face with her hands. And, for the first time in five years, let herself cry.


	5. Chapter 5

Veronica let herself back into the house, feeling surprisingly lighter at heart after her emotional purge, and relieved that the only living creatures who witnessed it were the same ones now running around the living room in circles, wagging their tails. Hearing sounds of life coming from the kitchen, she made her way there, stopping in the doorway to appreciate the comical sight of her father wrestling with a giant turkey.

"My money's on you, Mars. He's no match for you."

Keith looked up briefly and grimaced. The turkey just didn't want to fit into the refridgerator. Veronica silently came up beside him to give him a hand, and the two of them, after much pushing and maneuvering, managed to shove the bird into the fridge and shut the door.

"Is the Russian Army coming for dinner again, or did the store run out of normal sized turkeys?" she asked as she got a glass of water.

"Alicia was convinced that the boys could each eat a small bird on their own, and tht we needed an industrial-sized one to feed them all."

"Dad, I know Darrell's growing, but he can't possibly eat that much. Even with you and Wallace helping out."

"Where's your faith in your old man? I can still hold my own! Besides, Logan loves Alicia's turkey."

Veronica fell silent. Somehow, impossibly, she'd failed to connect the dots when her father had said 'boys'.

"Honey, are you angry with me for letting him come?"

Veronica looked up at her father. She couldn't be surprised that he'd been thinking that, but she was surprised that he asked. Logan was one subject they carefully dodged. She sighed.

"No, I'm not angry with you. I'm not even sure that I'm angry. I…I don't know what I think anymore. But I am surprised that you agreed to it...and that you didn't warn me sooner. I thought we agreed not to keep secrets from each other anymore."

"Are you going to throw turkey at me if I try to explain?"

"There's no way I'm trying to pick up that bird again. But I reserve the right to throw cranberries at you."

Keith sat across from her, and took her hand in his. "Honey, I know you're happy in Chicago. And I'm proud of everything you're doing with your life. But I hate that you loathe Neptune so much, and I know that Logan's part of the reason why."

"You know that I loathe Logan, so you invite him for Thanksgiving? Interesting logic, O Wise One."

"I don't think you really do."

"Don't think I really what?"

"Loathe Logan."

"And you have a theory about what I really feel for him and you're dying to share it?"

"Ready to be impressed by your old man's intellect and deductive reasoning?"

"Fire away, old man."

"Now, I know there's a lot about you and Logan that I don't know. And, with me being the father and you being the daughter, really don't want to hear about. But here's how I see it: You needed to leave Neptune in order to put Lilly's murder and all the aftermath behind you. Right?"

"Right."

"Right. Logical, rational decision. Behind you 100. But here's the problem: Logan is the only person in your life, other than me, that still connects you to the way things were before Lilly's murder. Now, you can't cut ties with me, because I'm a P.I. and can track you down. But you can cut ties with Logan. So you did. How am I doing?"

"Spot on. So where's the problem? I see no problem?"

"The problem is that when you cut ties with Logan, you left everything between you unresolved. And as long as there are loose ends, you can't really put it all behind you, can you? And if you can't fully put it behind you, you can't truly move on."

"So you invited Logan Echolls for Thanksgiving dinner so that I can put him behind me with everything else. Devious plan."

Keith paused briefly. Looking at his daughter, he wondered how someone so bright and perceptive about other people could be so blind about her own life.

"If putting him behind you is what you need to do, then do it, honey."

"If?"

"I'm just saying that maybe you don't have to cut him out of your life in order to move on."

"Are we still talking about Logan Echolls? The same guy you repeatedly warned to stay away from me? The one you slammed against a wall, after I'd already broken up with him?"

"Are you still the same person you were in high school?"

"Do I have to answer that?"

"Then maybe he's not the same kid either."

With the fates, her friends, and her family all conspiring to rob her of whatever peace of mind she had achieved in the past few years, Veronica decided to get out of the house and go off in search of peace and quiet. After five minutes of driving around, she gave up the attempt. Seeing an open flower shop, inspiration struck. It was time for her to pay a special visit. One she should have made a long time ago.


	6. Chapter 6

Other people probably would not make cemetery visits after sunset, but Veronica Mars was not like other people. Getting out of the car carefully, so as not to damage the flowers she'd just purchased, she made her way across the well-tended grounds to the grave she'd not visited in seven years.

Lilly's funeral was the first and last time she'd stood in this spot. It had been a typically sunny California day, with clear blue skies and fluffy white clouds that somehow seemed offensive to her. Pretty, sun-drenched days were for tanning at the beach or frolicking in a pool, not for burying the best friend you'd ever had.

As she stood looking at the white marble headstone engraved with Lilly's name and the brief span of years in which she'd lived and made her mark, Veronica could still easily see that day. She'd stood with her parents on either side of her. Her father had his arm around her shoulder, as she buried her face into his coat and cried uncontrollably. Her mother simply stood, pale and teary-eyed as she looked across at Jake Kane and his family. Logan stood next to Duncan, immobile with a grief of his own. She can't recall a word of what was said during the ceremony. Everything else was a blur to her.

As she recalled that day, the grief welled up inside of her so suddenly and powerfully that it was easy to forget how many years have passed. She sat down beside the headstone, lay the three lilies on the grave, and cried. '_Twice in one day…I really am a marshmallow,'_ she thought, as her sobs died down. She began to speak out loud, softly, even though there is no one around to hear her.

"It's not fair that you've been doing all of the visiting for the past few years, so I thought it was time that I came to visit you. Even though I know you're not really in there. Maybe I should have come sooner. Maybe you've been right. Maybe my father is right, and Sasha is right. I thought I'd put it all behind me, but I really just tried to run away from it. I should have known better."

"What do you mean, maybe I was right? When am I ever wrong?" Lilly demanded.

Veronica smiled. "I also should have known better than to expect you to stay quiet and let me talk."

"Where's the fun in that?"

"I know you like hearing me say it, so I came to say it: You were right, Lil," Veronica went on, determined to say what she came to say. "I need to stop running. I never really let go of the idea that once I put everything behind me, life would go back to the way it was before you died. And that's just stupid. There's no going back. And I'm not sure that I would want to be that girl anymore. Who's to say that life would have turned out better in the end? The only better part would have been having you with me."

"Life was going to have to change anyway, V. No one stays 16 forever. Eventually we would have gotten older, fatter and been forced to have facelifts."

Veronica laughed. "I wouldn't have been able to afford the facelift. You'd have paid for it, so that you wouldn't be ashamed to be seen with me."

"What can I say? I look out for my friends."

"Yeah, you really do. Thanks for looking out for me, Lilly. And for this most recent bite in the ass."

"Are you saying goodbye now?"

"For now. But if I screw up royally, I'm expecting you to come back and tell me."

"Don't forget me, V."

"Don't forget me, either."

She sat alone next to the marble headstone, and wiped the tears from her cheeks. Maybe here was the peace she'd been searching for. All she'd had to do to find it was come back. She kissed her fingertips, pressed them to Lilly's engraved name, and rose to her feet. Turning back towards her car, she stopped and stood still.

Standing in front of her, clutching a bouquet of large, brightly-colored tropical flowers, was the one person she hadn't quite found the courage to face. She blanched, then flushed, and then tried to find her voice. All she could manage to say was his name, and it came out in a whisper.

"Logan."


	7. Chapter 7

_Author's Note: Thank you so much to everyone for their amazing support! I'm a bit stunned at all the positive feedback I've gotten for my very first story. Also, a special thank you to those kind enough to point out certain logistical discrepancies in the first 2 chapters. I've fixed those errors, and it should now make more sense._

_Again, I only own Sasha. Everyone and everything else belongs to Mr. Rob Thomas and the fine people who created 'Veronica Mars'._

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Part of her wanted to run back to her car. Part of her wanted to sink into the ground. Part of her wanted to throw her arms around him and hold on tight. Unable to do any of them, she simply stood and stared.

She'd always still pictured him as he was in high school, but that boy had become a man. The Logan in front of her exuded confidence instead of cockiness, a self-assurance based on something more than his bank accounts. For a moment, it was as though she were looking at a stranger who merely resembled someone she once knew. Until she looked his straight in the eye. The eyes were still the eyes of the boy she had known, the boy who had been, at various times, a friend, an enemy, an ally, an enigma, and a lover. Looking into his eyes, she found the ghost that had haunted her for five years.

A familiar half-smile turned up the corner of his mouth. "So, come here often?"

His voice was the same. Somehow, part of her had expected that it, too, would have changed.

"Is that the best line you've got these days?" she replied, returning the smile.

"It was either that, or 'What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?'"

"Strange, most people in Neptune would think that this is my natural habitat."

"Only when there's a full moon."

Veronica looked up at the sky. "Phew. For a moment, I was afraid I'd turn into a werewolf."

"Nah. Furry wouldn't be a good look for you. Speaking of which, you look amazing. Still short, but it works for you."

She struggled for a reply, and the light banter which had flowed so easily turned into the awkward silence which she had been dreading from the start. Unable to look him in the eyes again, she stared at the flowers he held.

"Birds of paradise?" she queried.

Startled by the change of subject, he looked down at the flowers. Walking forward, he laid them on Lilly's grave beside the blossoms Veronica had left, and then stood beside her. "I always like to bring her something eye-catching. She'd have killed me if I'd ever tried to give her tulips or roses."

"I guess lilies weren't so imaginative."

"You'll do better next time. But why three?"

Veronica fidgeted. "One from me. And one from Duncan. And one from baby Lilly. It suddenly occurred to me that Duncan can never visit and bring his own flowers, and that baby Lilly can never…pay her respects…to the girl she's named for."

Logan sighed. "Too bad there's no statute of limitations on kidnapping. It's still strange to me that I haven't heard his voice or seen his face in five years."

_I haven't heard your voice or seen your face in five years either._

The same thought went through both their heads, but neither voiced it.

"Do you ever try to imagine what she looks like now? I still think of her as 'Baby Lilly' but she's five years old. She can walk and talk and is probably learning how to read and tie her shoes by herself."

"I guess I just see a mini-version of our Lilly. Big eyes, long blonde hair, and a smile that can light up Las Vegas."

Without thinking, Veronica sighed and rested her head lightly against Logan's shoulder. They stood like that for a moment, until awareness dawned and she suddenly jerked away and took a step back.

He looked down at her, saying nothing. As she looked up at him, she was reminded of their last conversation, standing the same way in their caps and gowns, and the ugliness that had passed between them.

_You died the same day that Lilly did. _

Her eyes filled, and she took another step back. "I have to go," she choked out. Tearing her gaze fom his, she turned and ran to her car. Behind her, she heard nothing but the evening breeze through the trees.


	8. Chapter 8

She got to her car, and started fumbling for her keys. As she put them into the door, she suddenly stopped. With her hand still on the keys and the keys still in the door, she looked over her shoulder at Logan. He stood at Lilly's graveside, hands in his pockets, his back to her, with his head down and shoulders hunched. Time stopped for a moment, and she saw the boy he once was inside the man he had become.

"No more running," she murmured to herself, and took the keys from the car door. Slowly, she walked back towards him, stopping a few feet away. She said nothing, but allowed him to have his time with Lilly, as he had allowed her. Unsure of him, unsure of herself, she waited.

"I thought you had to go." He spoke suddenly, without turning around. Veronica jumped slightly, taken by surprise. She hadn't realized that he'd been aware of her presence.

"I'm tired of running," she replied softly. He lifted his head and turned to face her, surprise mirrored in his eyes. Clearly her answer had not been what he had expected. "You've haunted me for the past five years," she burst out, her voice breaking with the emotions that she just couldn't bottle up any longer, "and if I don't say this now, I think you'll haunt me for the rest of my life."

He stood still, just looking at her. Waiting, giving her a chance to say whatever she needed to say. She took a deep breath, raised her head, and looked him straight in the eye.

"You were right. What you said to me that day. I didn't want to hear it, so I just got angry instead. But you were right. Part of me did die the day that Lilly was killed. And instead of dealing with everything, I just built a wall and hid. You're probably the only person that really saw through it, and it scared me. So I pushed you away, too. And I'm sorry." Her voice broke again, and, much to her horror, a few tears escaped and trickled down her cheek. "I am so sorry, Logan. For the things I said, for the way I treated you, for not trusting you or letting you in."

"Veronica, stop…"

"I'm sorry, Logan. I'm so sorry."

"Veronica…"

She couldn't stop saying it, or stop the tears from falling faster. He just kept saying her name, telling her to stop. _He doesn't want to hear it. It's too late. You can't make it better._ The more she thought it, the harder she cried, until she was unable to see him through the blur of tears. She turned her back to him, unable to face him- or herself- any longer.

She felt two hands on her shoulders as he gently turned him towards him again. Then strong arms wrapped around her and pulled her close, and that voice she remembered so well whispered "Shhhhhh…." into her hair.

"Please stop, Veronica," he said, his voice thick with emotion of his own. "I can't stand seeing you cry, knowing that I've made you cry again. Please, please, stop." Slowly his words penetrated, and she realized what he was saying. He wasn't telling her to stop apologizing. He was telling her to stop crying. She took a few deep, shuddering breaths until she got herself under control, but did not pull away from the comfort of his arms. One of his hands was gently stroking her hair, and she let the sensation soothe her. Neither of them spoke for several minutes. Finally, she lifted her head, and pulled away just far enough to be able to see his face.

His hand continued to smooth the hair away from her face as his eyes searched hers. Slowly, he lowered his forehead to hers, still saying nothing. Out of the past, the words came from her lips.

"What are we doing?"

He smiled, and whisperd, "No idea." Lifting his head, he kissed her gently on the forehead. "I think your next line is, 'We need to talk about this.' And you're absolutely right. But do we have to do it in a cemetery?"


	9. Chapter 9

_Again, thank you to everyone for your support! It's so much more fun writing this knowing that someone else enjoys reading it. I hope you're not disappointed with the next chapters...

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_

Veronica's nails drummed on the steering wheel as she waited at the stoplight. Logan's rental car was directly in front of her. After leaving the serenity of the cemetery, she was overwhelmed by doubt, confusion and, yes, fear. Suddenly the idea of going someplace private to talk didn't seem so wise. Maybe it would have been better to go someplace for a drink. Someplace public, where she would be less likely to break down into tears and blubber all over him again.

Hot embarrassment washed over her. Crying out, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" in a cemetery at night was hardly how she'd imagined her first meeting with Logan. She'd rarely allowed herself to even imagine being in the same place as Logan, but none of those fantasies had ever involved her crying. They usually involved him writhing in agony and begging for mercy. Somehow those thoughts were gone now.

He wasn't what she'd expected. Sure, the quick wit, the casual charm, the undeniable good looks…they were still there. But he seemed so much more now. More mature. More gentle. As she realized where her thoughts were leading, she laughed to herself and shook her head. She should have listened to her father. If she was no longer the same girl she'd been, why had she stayed so convinced that he was the same guy? She didn't know this Logan. They were just…what was the phrase? Intimate strangers. And yet…she did know him. The guy who stood holding tropical flowers was a stranger, but the guy who'd tossed out cheesy pickup lines was achingly familiar.

Consumed by her thoughts, she followed Logan the last few blocks to the Neptune Grand garage. As she pulled up behind him, and retrieved her purse from the passenger seat, she suddenly wondered what he was thinking. She'd picked up the subtle changes in him, but what did he see in her? Suddenly self-conscious, she got out of the car, leaving the keys in the ignition for the valet. Logan stood by the elevator, waiting for her.

"Please tell me you didn't get the Presidential Suite. That would just be a little too bizarre for me to take right now."

"Where's your sense of nostalgia?"

Her mouth dropped. "Are you serious?"

"Actually, it was already taken. They had to give me the Bridal Suite instead."

"Now I know you're joking."

"I jest not. Want to know who took the Presidential?"

"I almost afraid of the answer."

"Dick Casablancas."

"You can't expect me to believe any of this! Dick Casablancas happens to be here the same weekend and is staying in the Presidential Suite of the Neptune Grand?"

Logan gave her an odd look. "Of course he's here. He's not going to miss the five-year reunion and a chance to see how Madison looks."

She felt like an idiot. She had completely forgotten about the reunion. She had been so wrapped up in her own drama that it hadn't even dawned on her that the reason for Logan's presence in Neptune might not have had anything to do with her. Before she could come up with a suitable response, the elevator stopped on their floor and the doors opened.

She walked into the room behind him, and looked around. "Well, it's not the Camelot, but I guess it'll have to do."

"I think I deserve some pity, actually. Do you know how pathetic it is to stay in the Bridal Suite by yourself?"

She laughed. "I'm sure you could work that into a more effective pickup line than 'So, come here often'."

He grinned mischievously. "It _was_ pretty effective. You're in my hotel room, aren't you?"

She shot him a glare. He simply gave her a wide-eyed, innocent look, and batted his eyelashes. She couldn't help herself. She laughed. He grinned at her, and just stood still, watching her without saying a word. There was something in his gaze that made her pulse pick up, and she found it hard to look away.

"You've changed," he finally said. It was said quietly, and without inflection, but Veronica's defenses immediately went up.

"I had to," she responded, breaking their eye contact and walking towards the balcony. She opened the doors, and stood outside, enjoying the California night. As she sensed him walking up behind her, she gripped the railing and looked out into the distance. With so much to say, she found herself unable to begin.

"That wasn't an insult, Veronica," Logan said, coming to stand next to her. He rested his forearms on the railing, and looked out into the night with her. "It was just a comment. I guess I've had an image of you in my head all these years, and now I have a chance to compare it to reality."

"You've thought about me?" She hadn't meant to ask, but the question slipped out. Logan turned towards her in surprise.

"You really have to ask? I loved you more than I loved my own life. How could I not think about you?"

Veronica turned up one shoulder in a shrug, but could not answer. Part of her longed to simply burst out with everything she had never told him, never been able to tell him, and never thought she would have the chance to tell him. The rest of her was determined to protect her from the pain that baring her soul to Logan Echolls would inevitably cause.

"Veronica?" She closed her eyes, unable to look at him. Her name was like a plea, and she was terrified of responding to it.

"Then why did you leave me?" she whispered, opening her tear-glazed eyes and looking directly at him. "You loved me more than your own life, but you left. You knew, you _knew_ I wanted a chance to start over, and yet you were on a plane before our caps hit the ground." Her voice was gaining strength and volume. Pain would follow, but in this moment, she had to be honest with both of them. "You left and were never heard from again. What was I supposed to think, Logan?"

His own emotions running, he gripped her shoulders, his eyes blazing. "You were the one person I thought would understand! I was no good for you then. I was no good for myself." He took his hands away from her suddenly, as if the contact had scorched him. "You said you changed because you had to," he continued after a moment, struggling to keep his emotions under control. "So did I, Veronica. So did I."


	10. Chapter 10

_Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, everyone! I'm trying to write this as quickly as I can, since so many of you want updates. Hope I don't disappoint..._

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Veronica could feel the tension in his voice, the surprise and resentment aimed towards her. Strangely enough, she found it easier to handle an angry Logan than a calm, understanding one. Handling an Angry Logan was something she had a lot of experience with. She took a deep breath. When she was ready to speak, she placed one hand over his, and held it there until he lifted his eyes to hers. 

"This isn't easy for me to say, Logan, so I need you to wait until I'm done, even if what I say pisses you off." He nodded, but his shoulders tensed, as though anticipating some kind of blow.

"After Lilly's death, trusting people became difficult. For some reason, trusting you was impossible. It took me until now realize that it was because you mattered more than anyone else. You were the only one that could have truly understood what I was going through. Not Duncan. You. But you were such an asshole to me that it became easier to hate you and tell myself that you didn't matter at all." At the word 'asshole', a familiar smirk crossed his face, but he honored her request and remained silent.

"We've been over a lot of this before. What I'm trying to say is that I never really got out of the habit of distrusting you, of giving you the benefit of the doubt. I loved you, and it terrified me. Then, just when I was ready to trust you again, you told me you were leaving. I never stopped to think why. I only thought about the fact that you _were_ leaving, giving up on us. And I've been nursing that resentment for the past five years. Because you hurt me more than anyone could have, and I didn't know how to forgive you for that."

She stopped, unable to continue. There was still so much she wanted to say to him, but suddenly she needed to hear his voice. For several heartbeats, no one spoke. Those moments seemed to last eons to Veronica. Logan turned over his hand and gripped the one that still rested on his. She curled her fingers into his and held on tightly.

"I wasn't giving up on us, Veronica," he said quietly and evenly. "I was doing the only thing I could do in order to have any kind of future with you. Everything you said to me at graduation was true. I needed to grow up. I needed to stop hiding. I couldn't do any of that in Neptune, where I would always have been the son of Aaron and Lynn Echolls, known best for bum fighting, drunkenness, and who knows what else. The way I saw it, my only chance at deserving you was to go and start over without you. So I did."

"But you never…" she started, and then stopped. She didn't want to start up with more recriminations, but Logan wouldn't let her.

"Go ahead. I never what?"

"You never tried to contact me. I assumed that you never wanted to speak to me again."

"I've wanted to hear your voice every day for the past five years. I didn't know if you would let me back into your life. Wallace told me once that you never let anyone mention my name to you. I figured you hated me, and moved on."

Veronica shook her head. "I wanted to hate you. And I wanted to move on. Somehow, I never managed to do either. I just buried it and ran from it. I didn't want to admit that everything you had said to me that last day had been true, because that would have meant that I had been to blame."

"To blame for what, Veronica? There were two of us involved."

She shook her head. Somehow, she had to find the right words, without just making him angry. It was so hard to think about their past, to talk about it, without also feeling the hurt and anger that she'd felt for so many years. How could she look back objectively? But, if she was going to get past this, how could she not try?

"Do you remember why I broke up with you?"

Logan laughed, but briefly and with no humor. "Do I remember why my heart was broken? Do you really have to ask?"

"No, I mean…do you remember what I said to you? In my father's living room?"

"The part about me having fun? Or the part about not being able to stand by me?"

"Both, though I don't quite remember saying it like that. That whole summer, I felt like you were going through this phase, and if I waited patiently and lovingly, you'd turn back into the Logan that I fell for in the first place. But you didn't, and it was tearing me apart. Then I thought that if we broke up, maybe it would be some kind of wake-up call, and then you'd become you again. But it wasn't, and you didn't. You just seemed to go further and further down some dark, twisted path. And I could only watch…"

Her voice trailed off. It suddenly seemed surreal to her, standing on a hotel balcony, holding hands with a Logan Echolls she hardly knew…while discussing the Logan Echolls who had broken her heart. He opened his mouth to speak, but she shook her head again, stalling him.

"Wait, please let me try to say this. I don't know if I'll be able to later. I watched you, with Hannah, with Kendall, pretending like it didn't hurt me. But it did. Not only because I still loved you, but because it made me wonder if I had done the right thing. If I had stayed with you, would I have been able to keep you from sliding further? I knew how much you resented me. And I couldn't help but ask myself if I was somehow a cause of it all. If there wasn't part of you that was doing it to hurt me, like I had hurt you. I guess I was pretty conceited back then."

Logan didn't say anything for a moment, but just looked at their linked hands. He appeared to be thinking about what she had just said, mulling it over. Veronica realized how much he really had changed- the Logan she once knew would have spoken first and thought about it later.

"Conceited, yes, but not wrong," he finally said slowly. "I've wondered the same thing over the years. At first, I blamed you. 'If she had just stood by be…'. That kind of thing. After a while, I finally owned up to the fact that I had made it impossible for you to stand by me. Despite your shady investigative habits, you always had more integrity than anyone I ever knew. It was one of the parts of you I had always admired most, even when it pitted you against me. Part of me did want you to hurt as much as I hurt, but I don't think that was really my motive for any of it. It was more that I wanted to prove to you that I had moved on and didn't need you, when all I really wanted was for you to come back. But the more I tried to prove how much I didn't want you back, the more impossible I made it for you to ever come back. Like everything else I did and was back then, it was stupid and self-destructive."

"Most things," she interrupted.

"Huh?"

"Most things you did then were stupid and self-destructive. Not everything. You came charging to my rescue more often than I wanted to admit. I choose to think that saving my sorry ass doesn't qualify as 'stupid'."

"Well, it was such a cute little ass. I couldn't really help myself."

"What do you mean, was? I still have a cute ass, thank you very much!"

"In the name of science, it would be irresponsible of me to simply take your word for that. I would have to conduct extensive research on the subject."

"Too bad you're not a scientist."

Once again, the banter that they fell into so easily distracted them from their conversation. Even that banter could not distract them for long, though. It dawned on each of them, almost simultaneously, that they were standing in close proximity, flirting, on a moon-washed balcony, their fingers entwined and their eyes locked. Veronica flushed, and hoped it wasn't visible in the moonlight. She knew that look in Logan's eye, though it had been so long since she had seen it. She dropped her own eyes, suddenly afraid that he would see where her thoughts had strayed. She knew she needed to find something to say, to start their conversation again, but could not find a single word. Except one.

"Logan…"

It came out as a whisper. With his free hand, he cupped her chin and lifted her head until she met his eyes once more. His fingers grazed her cheek, and she held her breath. Dozens of thoughts raced through her head, but too quickly for her to latch on to any one in particular. Only one question stood out. Was he going to kiss her?


	11. Chapter 11

_I hope the ending of this chapter makes up forall those cliffhangers.I'm only planning to write an Epilogue aftetthis, so please tell me if it seems to end too abruptly. I can always edit it and add in more._

_-MG_

* * *

The world around them stopped, as his eyes searched hers. Nothing existed except the two of them. Veronica scarcely dared breathe, and her heart thumped so loudly that she was sure Logan could hear its erratic rhythms. She felt more alive than she had felt in years, more exhilarated…and more afraid. Suddenly it seemed as though everything she had been running from for the past five years had suddenly caught up with her on the balcony. Everything she had fought against, everything she had secretly longed for, everything that she had not even admitted to herself that she dreamt of…all of it was in his eyes, and she feared its intensity.

"I can't breathe," she gasped, and turned her head away. She couldn't see the disappointment flash in his eyes, but she could sense it as he dropped his hand from her face. Still he said nothing. She looked back towards him, her eyes pleading for understanding. His gaze warmed, and he smiled softly.

"You're scared of me, aren't you?"

"I…that's….what kind of question is that?" Veronica spat out, taken aback. How was she supposed to answer that? And how could he ask it and smile while doing so?

"An honest one. You're terrified of what I make you feel." Logan couldn't help smiling. For one life-altering moment, the truth he had been hoping to find and scarcely allowed himself to believe in had been staring him in the face, shining out of a pair of big blue eyes. "Admit it, Veronica Mars. You can't resist me. And you know it."

Veronica pushed away from the balcony, and walked inside. "You're out of your mind." The tenderness of the previous moment was temporarily forgotten in her pique. Logan followed her inside, and grabbed her hand, pulling her towards him.

"Well, you definitely win the blue ribbon for being an ass, Logan," she said, as she tried to jerk away. He simply tightened his grip.

"They only give blue ribbons to pigs, darling."

"It's your lucky day, then! You won that contest as well."

Logan's smile grew broader. The more sarcastic she became, the more convinced he was that he was right. Five years may have gone by, but Veronica Mars still avoided questions in the exact same way. He pulled her closer, until she had to brace her hands on his chest in order to maintain any distance. She squirmed against him.

"Logan, cut it out! I didn't come up here to wrestle with you, I came to talk!"

"That's fine. Just tell me one thing, and I'll let you go."

"Damnit, Logan! I don't want to play games. Grow up!" She balled her hands into fists, ready to start hitting any minute.

"No games, Veronica. Just tell me one thing, honestly. Do I still have a chance?"

She stopped squirming. His voice had gone soft, and his free hand came to caress her cheek once more. Her mouth dropped open. Whatever she had been expecting, this was not it. There was no sign of arrogance, of innuendo, even of playfulness. His eyes were serious.

"What?"

"You said that you wanted to hate me. wanted to move on. And then you said that you never managed to do either. I'm asking you if that means that it's too late for us. If I have a chance with you. Even a miniscule one."

"I…"

She didn't know what to say. She felt like she was walking a tightrope, and that the smallest shift in balance would send her crashing to the ground. And this tightrope had no safety net. If she said the wrong thing, she knew that she would never be able to recover from the crash.

"I…"

Was it too late? All those years of resentment, bitterness and anger…could they be washed away in one night? Is "I'm sorry" all she really needed to heal? Could it really be that easy? Or was tonight just supposed to be some kind of closure, a chance to look back one last time before moving on forever?

"I…I don't know, Logan," she finally said, swallowing hard. "I don't know how to say 'no'. But I'm terrified to say 'yes'."

"I'm scared too," he whispered. "I screwed this up before, and I'm scared I'll screw it up again. But if I let you walk out that door tonight, I'm afraid I'll regret it for the rest of my life. And I'll end up one of those rich 80-year-olds dating ditzy models and actress wannabes, until one of them takes advantage of my senility, marries me, and then suffocates me in the middle of the night with a pillow."

She smiled. He was completely right. She would never be able to forgive herself if she walked away from him again. Since when did Veronica Mars let fear stand in her way? "I was going to say the same thing." Her hands flattened on his chest, and tension left her body. She leaned further into him.

"Really? Can you start dating the models now? While you're still hot?"

"I'll think about it."

"And what about me?"

"What about you?"

"Will you think about dating me, too?" He brushed a silky lock of blonde hair away from her forehead.

"No."

His hand stopped mid-air. From her bantering, and the way she was leaning into him, he had assumed she was giving him that chance he so desperately needed.

"I won't date you, too, Logan. I'm going to date _only_ you."

It took a minute for her words to seep in. He grinned, and wrapped both arms around her, holding her tightly against him. He bent his head towards her, moving slowly enough that she could evade him if she wanted to. She didn't move away.

"Can you breathe?" he whispered against her lips.

"No," she whispered back, her entire body straining towards him.

"Good." He leaned down the last fraction of an inch and laid his lips against hers. Slowly, sweetly, tenderly, they kissed, pouring their hearts into one another. Veronica never knew if they had stood like that for mere seconds or if an entire eternity passed them by. She only knew that it was in that moment that she became whole again.


	12. Epilogue

_Auhtor's Note: Here, as promised, is the epilogue. For those who want more, I'm considering writing this same story from Logan's perspective, since this one was mostly all about Veronica. Any interest in such a story?_

_As always, I only own the OCs. Everything and everyone else bleongs to Mr. Rob Thomas and the fine people who created 'Veronica Mars'.

* * *

_

Logan knocked on Veronica's bedroom door. "Aren't you ready yet?"

"Give me a minute. I'll be right out."

"You said that fifteen minutes ago. Wallace already got sick of waiting and left in his car. If you don't hurry up, we might end up late for our 10 year reunion as well."

The door opened suddenly. Veronica stood in the doorway, exasperated.

"Why are you so impatient? Are you really in that much of a hurry to find out what Madison Sinclair has been doing since high school?"

"No…I'm just that impatient to walk into that gym with you by my side."

The exasperation left her immediately. Her gaze softened. She just wasn't used to hearing Logan Echolls say things like that to her. It made her melt every time, and she had a feeling he knew it. She leaned up on her toes, and kissed him softly. "Since you have such an excellent reason, we can leave right now. Let me just put on lipstick and grab my purse." She dashed back into her room, grabbed a few things, shoved them into a purse, and dashed back out.

"Ready?" he queried.

"Ready," she replied with a smile. Never in her wildest dreams did she ever imagine that she would actually look forward to a Neptune High reunion.

Then again, she also never imagined that life would turn out the way it had. Thanksgiving had been so perfect that she still had trouble believing it had been real. Okay, so her father burnt the mashed potatoes, and Darrell spilled beer on the sofa during a crucial football play. But the little mishaps just made it so much more homey and comfortable. Especially since she got to sit around the dinner table with the family she adored and the only man she'd ever truly loved…at the same time.

At first, she'd been nervous, expecting to get strange looks from her family every time that Logan touched her. Whenever he'd twined his fingers in hers, or toyed with the ends of her hair, or called her by any endearment, she'd glance surreptitiously at her father or Wallace. The fact that they showed no surprise, or any emotion at all, only made her more uneasy. She kept expecting some kind of comment as soon as she was alone with either one. After all, in high school, both of them had had plenty to say about the idea of her dating Logan Echolls. But they said nothing.

It had been Alicia who broke the ice first, while the two of them were getting dinner ready.

"Did I ever tell you how I knew that Wallace was finally okay with the idea of me marrying your father?"

Veronica had been taken by surprise by the question. It really seemed to come out of the blue. "No. How did you know?"

"We'd just had dinner together, the four of us, and Keith had just left. Wallace caught me smiling to myself as I washed the dishes. He stood, watching me until I noticed that he was there. Then he simply said, 'Does he always make you smile like that?' And I said, 'Yes, he does.' So Wallace answered, 'I want you to keep smiling like that, Mom. Until death do you part.' And then he walked out of the kitchen. It took me a while to understand what he was trying to say."

"He's cute when you least expect it, isn't he?" Veronica finally responded, unsure of what she was supposed to say.

"Yes, he is. But I think you know that's not what _I'm_ trying to say."

"Can you just say it, Alicia? Please?"

"You smile when you look at him, Veronica. When you think no one is watching. So the question is, does he always make you smile like that?"

Veronica thought about it for a moment. She looked up at Alicia and smiled. It was all the answer she'd needed to give.

* * *

"Honey?" Logan broke into her musings. She tore her gaze from the window, and looked at him. "Honey, we're here. Can we get out of the car now?"

She blushed slightly. He raised an eyebrow, amused. "Care to share your thoughts? The ones that have engrossed you since we got into the car and kept you completely silent all the way here?"

"Sorry, baby. My thoughts will remain private. But I will tell you that they were entirely about you."

"They better be," he replied, in a half-mocking growl. "Especially if they make you smile like that." She grinned, her eyes twinkling, and leaned over to kiss him. When she started to pull away, he grabbed her blouse and yanked her back for a much longer, deeper kiss.

"Good thing you didn't try that at home," she said breathlessly, once she was able to speak again. "We'd never have gotten here at all." His eyes gleamed with something appealingly wicked, and he reached for her again. She held up a hand, and undid her seatbelt. "However…since I did not get dolled up so that you could maul me in a car…I suggest we get this show on the road. Our adoring, and soon to be shocked, fans await."

Moments later, they'd crossed the parking lot and stood in front of the main doors. Veronica stopped, staring at the building.

"What is it?" Logan asked, surprised.

"I used to hate this place so much," she replied. "I honestly never thought I'd step foot in it again. I just wanted to appreciate the feeling of walking into this building willingly." He didn't say anything in response. He simply grabbed her hand, squeezed her fingers lightly, and escorted her inside.

They followed the signs and echoing voices to the gymnasium, which was decorated with crepe paper, blown up photographs from their senior yearbook, and a large sign that read '_Welcome Back to Neptune High!'_ Veronica chuckled. Madison, it seemed, hadn't changed much in the past five years. The yearbook photos were almost exclusively of 09ers. A small table was set up near the door, and a very pregnant Shelly Pomroy stood behind it, accompanied by a tall, blonde, athletic and bored-looking man that Veronica had never seen. She saw Logan and squealed.

"Logan Echolls! Honey, I told you he'd be here! Madison just didn't believe me, but I knew that you wouldn't stay away." Logan sighed, but so softly that only Veronica could hear.

"You know me, Shelly. I just couldn't stay away," he answered, but his eyes were on Veronica's as he spoke. Seeing the way he was looking at the tiny blonde by his side made Shelly look at her as well. Her mouth dropped open.

"_Veronica Mars!_" she exclaimed. No one thought that Veronica Mars would show up. No one had even heard from her or about her since graduation. She'd just fallen off the face of the earth. And now she walks in…holding Logan Echolls hand?

"Hello, Shelly. You're looking healthy," Veronica said pleasantly, as though Shelly were not staring at her like she'd suddenly sprouted purple tentacles. She turned to the bored-looking man beside her. "Hello, stranger." He didn't smile, but held out a hand in greeting.

"Dr. Samuel Martin. I'm Shelly's husband." Veronica shook his hand, and then immediately took Logan's again. Shelly still didn't speak. Logan smirked.

"We'll skip the nametags, thanks. And we'll show ourselves to the bar. Sugarpuss, can I get you a drink?" he asked Veronica.

"I'd like a martini, shmoopy-bear. But I'll come with you."

They walked away, hand in hand. Logan looked down at her. "Shmoopy-bear?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

They barely left each other's side all night, equally enjoying their proximity to one another and the shock and disbelief on the faces of those around them. Veronica was surprised at how much fun she was really having. Sure, the Shellys and Madisons of the world would never change much. Most of her classmates, however, seemed to have left all that high school drama where it belonged…in high school. During one of those rare moments when she and Logan were separated from one another, Veronica found herself having a surprisingly pleasant conversation with Dick Casablancas.

"So, you're the one who took the Presidential Suite, I hear."

"Well, it was either that, or the Bridal Suite. It would just be too sad to be in the Bridal Suite alone."

"Good call," Veronica murmured, swallowing a chuckle. "How long are you in town for?"

"Just another day. I have a meeting in New York on Tuesday, so I'll be flying straight there."

Before Veronica could ask anything else, Dick's attention was claimed by someone else. He started to excuse himself politely, and then stopped. "You know, it really was good to see you, Veronica. I never thought I'd say that. I also never thought you'd have shown up today."

"What can I say?" she answered, her eyes meeting Logan's over Dick's shoulder. She smiled a special smile that he knew was for him and him alone. "I just couldn't resist the idea of a reunion."


End file.
